All of you must remember gramophones. With records that could put truck tyres to shame with their size, our grandfathers loved them. Then after another 10 years had dawdled by mankind was blessed with the eight track and then the smaller cassette. And finally after another twenty years, someone worked out that songs could even be stored digitally and he gave us the compact disc…and then everything went berserk.
Today you have a video ipod and a wafer thin TV set, portable satellite navigation devices and satellite tv, a digital camera, a laptop cum tablet, automatic lawn mowers and a smartphone that plays a song of its own when anyone calls.
Apparently, I can even buy an automated coffee maker that makes a hardcore dose of caffeine in the morning to wake me right up, a mellower blend in the afternoon and an espresso in the night. How cool is that?
This dramatic and frenzied burst of technology has created a new kind of person: the gadget freak. And he is every bit as important to consumerism as the last great marketing invention: the teenager.
Anyway, to satisfy this person many new and useless things were invented. The electric recliner, the home cinema. Along with phones that take pictures and cameras that access the internet, you can also buy, I’m told a lavatory roll dispenser into which I can plug my ipod so that I can groove along as I do my number twos.
I recently read a magazine about new gadgets for the technosavvy. Labelled as the international technology Bible, it was full of things that truthfully and honestly made me drool. I literally wanted to buy each and every one of them.
Did you know for instance that you can buy a Mediabox? According to the blabber, it has a 500 GB HDD and it can upscale the output of your now redundant computer to 1080p FULL HD. I don’t really know what all this blurb means but the box is sleek and black and looks very nice. Bottom-line is that I want it.
That brings us on to an important point. Everything that can be stored as ones and zeroes has been stored just so. And to compensate for the lack of breakthroughs or groundbreaking inventions, we usually get the same old thing bundled around in a different manner. Usually Italian.
Just because a man in Italy gets up on a Tuesday and cuts up a cloth differently, it can be sold for ginormous prices. It is the same with Lamborghini. It’s a German car underneath and mechanically but you would empty your bank account for it just because it looks bonkers and goes like hell.
And this leads me on to the VW Jetta. It is a car made by ze Germans. So it is what you’d expect. The same no nonsense mechanicals, the same nerve wracking attention to detail inside and outside and generally all the stuff you would hope to find inside a car in this segment. Like any other car, it comes bundled with a lot of technology. It can detect when the driver is feeling tired with the help of sensors, it can detect rain and lighting conditions and it can wash its own headlamps.
There’s more. It has just about the best seats fitted to any car that cocoon you in a sense of comfort. The leather, space and silence will see you wafting about roads in peace. The suspension in the Jetta deserves a special mention because you can ride over anything upto a medium sized fox until you feel something inside the cabin.
Your smartphone will link up with the car easily enough and you can play your music through ipods or sd cards. However the absence of a usb port is conspicuous by its absence. Nevertheless, as an all rounder this car will not cease to amaze you.
It will keep on working properly till the end of time and will never give you any sorts of trouble. It’s perfect to the point of being dull. And that is its downfall. It is too perfect. Everything is where you expect it to be.
All you really want is a Lamborghini. You know you won’t ever find the AC buttons and that it will catch fire as you drive it home. But you don’t care because it looks so sleek and beautiful. Tell you what VW chaps; hire an Italian for your styling department. Then all will be well.